Unnatural Laws -------------- Murphy's Law ------------ If anything can go wrong, it will. O'Tool's Commentary On Murphy's Law ----------------------------------- Murphy was an optimist. The Unspeakable Law ------------------- As soon as you mention something .... .... if it's good, it goes away .... if it's bad, it happens. Nonreciprocal Laws Of Expectations ---------------------------------- Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results. Howe's Law ---------- Every man has a scheme that will not work. Zymurgy's First Law Of Evolving Systems Dynamics ------------------------------------------------ Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a larger can. Etorre's Observation -------------------- The other line moves faster. Skinner's Constant (Flanagan's Finagling Factor) ------------------------------------------------ That quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you get, gives you the answer you should have got. Murphy's Law Of Selective Gravity --------------------------------- An object will fall so as to do the most damage. Jenning's Corollary To Murphy's Law Of Selective Gravity -------------------------------------------------------- The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet. Gordon's First Law ------------------ If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well. Maier's Law ----------- If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of. Hoare's Law Of Large Problems ----------------------------- Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out. Boren's First Law ----------------- When in doubt, mumble. The Golden Rule Of Arts And Sciences ------------------------------------ Whoever has the gold makes the rules. Barth's Distinction ------------------- There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't. Segal's Law ----------- A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure. The Ninety-Ninety Rule Of Project Schedules ------------------------------------------- The first 90 % of the task takes 90 % of the time, and the last 10 % takes the other 90 % Farber's Fourth Law ------------------- Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows. Gumperson's Law --------------- The contradictory of a welcome probability will assert itself whenever such an eventuality is likely to be most frustrating. ***********************************************